Coffee, tea, or carbon offset?

As if the experience of flying has not become excruciating enough (from the near strip-searches at the gate to that flight attendant who yells at you to return your seat to the upright position, and when you explain that you'd love to but the seat is busted, she glares at you as if it's your fault--always one of Mark Steyn's pet peeves), comes the latest news: Virgin Atlantic employees will now be jobbing their paying customers, while in their seats, to pay for their portion of their carbon footprint.

Story here, including this classic passage:

A spokesman for Virgin said the airline had decided on the policy after noticing low participation in schemes offered by competing airlines through which customers were presented with the opportunity to offset the carbon emissions of their flight online.

"If the person sitting next to you chooses to offset their flight, it may prick your conscience and you may pay too," the spokesman told the Times of London.

Questions. Will the captain and crew be asked to fork over their fair share? Will the flight attendants?

Most importantly, will the passengers be asked to provide exact change?

Snagged by Lucianne, one of whose commenters sums up my sentiments exactly:

I would laugh right out loud if whatever that offset stuff is was offered to me. I'd just tell 'em bring me a beer and leave me alone.

Coincidentally enough, just as I'm typing this, a Ford commercial comes on. As a father and daughter approach their SUV, the daughter asks the dad, "Could you drop me off a block away?"

Immediately we're like: Right. Dad's a doofus, can't be seen by the cool kids. But no, Daughter has other ideas: "People in that part of town are riding bikes, driving hybrids."

Well, it's a Ford commercial, so it turns out Dad drives a hybrid, too. A Ford hybrid.

But in the meantime: if daughter is so ashamed of Dad, can't she get her ass on her own bike? Or if "that part of town" is too far, walk to the bus stop?

So she's happy accepting a ride in an SUV as long as nobody knows, and as long as she can feel morally superior to her father, who's being nice enough to take time out on a beautiful day to drive her to her entertainment?

Give that girl a "Gore '08" button and the tableau would be complete.